I'm fat and attractive, you should date me….I think.

You want me??? Are you sure??

YES! Ladies, let’s sit down and talk about a very important topic; men and/or women being attracted to you.  I remember the first time a person, one whom I never thought would be attracted to me, approached me.  I was with a group of my friends and was dressed to the T! I had my high heels on, and my hair and makeup were on point. We were laughing and drinking when this guy approached us.  He said “Hey” to everyone, and made eye contact with me. He asked my name, and if I’d like a drink.  I literally thought he was talking to someone else, so not only did I lean to the side to be sure, but I also looked around to see who else he could’ve been talking to. My
friends laughed, and told me he was talking to me. The next sentence out of my mouth was, “Are you sure?” He said, “I think so, unless you’re crazy.”

Ladies the following questions should never be asked of someone who is interested in you:

Have you ever been with a big girl?

Can you handle me?

Why do you like me?

Is this a joke?

Fat girls used to be considered easy targets, because "obviously their bodies were ugly and we assumed they had low self-esteem and didn't love themselves". People are shocked when they see the stereotype of the low-self-esteem-having-fat-girl steadily disappearing.  It's time that all of us let those old insecurities go and get with the program! You can be considered fat and attractive to someone. It’s not some farfetched idea.  It’s the reality.

I remember having a conversation with one of my friends (let’s call him Jay) about him dating a plus-sized woman. He said he did it once, but never again. When I asked if it have to do with the woman’s body, he said, no. It had more to do with her insecurities, and "fake confidence."  They met at a party, and the woman (let’s call her Gina) was literally the life of the party.  Gina looked good, smelled great, and had the attitude of a size 4 model, which Jay was super attracted to. They went on a few good dates, but after a while it got weird. Gina kept making fun of Jay’s previous skinny girlfriends. She kept asking Jay things like, “Are you sure you like me? Can you handle me? You know I'm fat right?” At first, Jay didn't mind, but after a while it became exhausting having to prove to Gina that he wanted to be there, and that he didn't care about what everyone else thought about her larger frame.

What makes us attract such amazing beautiful people, only to turn them down, because we feel it’s some kind of a high school joke?  Maybe it is a joke. A joke that we’ve convinced ourselves and the world that we are deserving of all these things we beg for. Things like, being treated with respect, and having a level playing field with our smaller counter parts in all facets of life, from fashion to dating. Maybe we really don’t think we are worthy of these things.

As humans our tastes in everything changes. Our clothes change, our dreams change, our friends change.  Who we are attracted to throughout our lives changes too. When I was a child I crushed on cartoon characters.  In my teen years I loved boy bands and Jonathan Taylor Thomas (judge me).  Now at the awesome age of 28 (LOL) my taste in people is completely different. So why would we find it hard to believe that someone who normally dates someone smaller, taller, bigger (or whatever you want to insert there), wouldn't evolve too?  Accept that they’ve found something they're attracted to in you! You deserve everything you want and and more.  Thanks for reading!

Golden Confidence

Tips for the everyday woman.

Madeline Jones from Plus Model Magazine was kind enough to let me share some of my Golden Confidence tips in the new Love Your Body issue. I've decided to share a few of them below: