Golden Kaleidoscope: You're only bold online...

You're only bold online...

Social Media Confidence vs Real World Confidence

You take pictures for the likes in swimsuits, bodycon, crop tops… you name it. You post it to every social media site and BOOM—you're loved all over the web! But, what happens when the phone and computer are off, and you're in the real world? 

Ask yourself, do you still feel good about who you are off-line?  Are you still confident when you hear comments and feel judgmental stares from strangers? Do you think confidence and love can be found in a clothing item? Do you know that it’s ok to not be confident every single day? That confidence is something that has to be worked on daily?

Are you looking at bloggers and models as inspiration or people to copy?

Swim Top -Here
Skirt- Here
Necklace and Earrings-Gifted

Hurray to the plus-sized community for finally getting some positive recognition. But what happens when the rest of the world hasn't caught up yet? When you wear those crop tops, bodycon dresses, shorts, or anything that is something-you-shouldn't-be-wearing, in public, how do you deal with it? When the pictures that you posted on social media are over, then what? How honest are you being with yourself about your self-worth and confidence?

If social media wasn't available would your confidence disappear?

Most of the items I wear on my blog I would wear in real life. I love tight clothes and crop tops. I truly don't care if it makes others uncomfortable. I'm wearing it anyways. Some days I wear shit to piss people off. I truly wonder, what it is that makes people feel like their opinions are valid, or more important than mine? Especially, when they’re dressed like a $2 clown (but that's another topic for another time).

I get stares, laughs, and whispers for wearing something that I shouldn't. You have to stay strong and confident in who you are as a women. Throughout life you will have people telling you what you can and cannot wear, how you should act, and who you should be.  The expectation is for you to always follow the rules society dictates. I say, as long as you’re not hurting others, who gives a fuck?  

Self-confidence, self-worth, self-esteem…the key word in each is self. They have everything to do with how you value your own self.  The way you feel about yourself spills over and attracts people who value you as well.  So, you don’t need to pander to the masses.  Love yourself truly, from within and you’ll find that you won’t care if the world loves you back.  You’ll also find that the people who matter, will. 

Thank you Fatleopard Photography for taking these amazing pictures of me. Thank you to Kitty K. Free for all of your help!


  1. that is so true! i dont always feel confident but I always try to push myself with new things I have to overcome!

  2. Amen to all of this. It's completely okay to not feel confident 100% of the time and I think part of being confident is accepting that fact. It's also super important to be who you are online, offline, or otherwise. I've seen a lot of girls building their confidence via selfie, which is okay, but putting nothing into their tangible and spiritual selves. I try my best to present the same way regardless of circumstance. Consistency is a part of confidence too.

  3. In talking to women of all sizes I discover one popular trend. Most women have insecurities about their bodies. Some of my skinny friends won't wear shorts cause they think their legs are too small. Another has acne on her back and won't wear tank tops, basically women of all sizes are worried about being judged on what they wear. I love this blog post! You are right confidence comes from loving ourselves flaws and all! Thanks Essie!

  4. This came right on time! I love it

  5. Love this write-up Essie!

  6. I am the same on AND off line babe, just sometimes less glamourous which is totally normal.
    Even celebs have off days and I am just an ordinary woman. Confidence is the best accessory!

  7. Yes! This is so true! I've always been a plus size girl I've always had a little confidence ppl always used to ask me why you wearing this or why you wearing that! It's not like I cared what ppl thought about I just really hated when ppl would tell me " you're cute for a big girl" OMG it used to tear me up on the inside it made me very self conscious & to top it all not only am I just plus size I don't have any booty either! Lol so that made it twice as bad! But by seeing other women plus size blogs and articles really helps me out alot! Thanks for that♡

  8. This was an amazing post and the message was strong and I really enjoyed it! Blessings beautiful!!